This is certainly the biggest time of year for gifts. The Christmas holiday season seems to be surrounded by the notion of 'giving' some sort of gift. And of course over the years the gifts have become more and more materialistic. As humans we tend to evolve into 'more and more' and in the gift giving department that is certainly true. The first gifts were supposed to be symbolic gifts that the Magi gave to the Christ Child. We are supposed to emulate that every year, but it has kind of gotten out of hand, at least to my way of thinking.
The Christmas holidays of one hundred years ago were certainly different from modern times, I'm sure. There was no choice to but to make them very personal and 'home made'. There were almost no other alternatives, so people made the holiday themselves. Everything from the decorations they chose to decorate their homes with to the gifts they made, and the food that was prepared and spread out for their families. Everything was more important then, as it took a lot of time to make gifts and to put together the makings of a great feast. These days it's all about the 'instant' of anything.
We can shop online and have something delivered to our friends and family within 24 hours, and we can even get gift cards to give on our way to a friend's holiday party. Food- it doesn't have to have much thought put into it. That is another stop on the way home from work. Instant, and not much work. And sure, it's nice and it's filling, but it's not very special. Not what this holiday truly commands.
So, with all of this 'quickness' in our lives where does the feeling and thought come into our gift giving? Do people ever take the time to really find just the perfect gift to give, then anticipate the giving? Do you remember finding that great gift and really being excited about giving it? Do you remember hoping that the lucky person who was going to receive your well thought intentions really loved what you found? I certainly do. And I have been on both sides of that experience.
When I was ten years old I got a ten-speed bicycle. I couldn't believe it was under the tree, I was so excited to get it. I thanked my mom and dad, only to be told that they didn't have anything to do with it. My older brother had worked an after school job so I could have that bike that Christmas. I couldn't believe it, and even today that gift given from my brother's heart is my absolute favorite gift ever given to me. I feel so very lucky to have felt my brother's love back then.
I have also given many gifts that I hoped would please. I would buy things for my kids, early in the season, and wrap them and place them under the tree. As it got closer to Christmas Day, and I thought about what was waiting under the tree, I got more and more excited for Christmas morning. Not so I could get anything myself- nothing except the look of joy and happiness on my children's faces as they saw the presents that 'Santa' had left for them under the Christmas tree. I hope that as my children get older they are going to be anxious to experience this kind of gift giving, too. It really is 'more blessed to give than to receive'.
So, what about the ultimate gift this season? Is it really a new Maserati or great diamond bracelet? Um, I don't think so. I don't have a Maserati in my driveway, and my diamond bracelet is nice, but it doesn't bring me the happiness that I thought I would get by owning it. What kind of gift would I love to receive this Christmas? I already have it, and am reminded of it by the holiday itself. I have the gift of God's love; embodied in the form of a tiny baby born on this most holy of nights. The absolute ultimate gift- "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son." There is no better gift than to be reminded that I am loved. The kind of love that is perfection in and of itself. It can't be bested. No matter how hard we humans may try, it just won't ever be any better than it is right now, at this moment; 12:07 am, December 25, 2008. Merry Christmas to all. I wish you all Peace, Love, and the many Blessings of this most joyous of seasons.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
In Mourning...
A friend of mine's father passed away this morning. It was quite expected, this gentleman was almost 94 and had been in declining health for several years. He was blind, and had a tumor the size of a grapefruit on his kidney. It was cancerous, but it didn't seem to spread to other parts of his body. The doctors were watching the tumor to see what would happen, they were hesitant to operate due to his advanced years. It was certainly time for him to depart this Earth. I feel a connection to him, as my husband and I purchased his family home from him a few years ago. He and his wife lived there for fifty years or so.
That isn't the main part of this. We all lose family members, it is to be expected. The only thing I really fear on this Earth is having my children die before I do. I'm not sure I could cope with it, and don't want to have to experience life without either one of them. Doing something drastic in reaction to a child's death isn't fair to the one left behind, so I would HAVE to live without one of them. It's just a hard situation that no one ever wants to face.
I tend to go through my life just like most folks- I take for granted the day to day interactions with my children. I love them to the best of my abilities, and hope that it is what they need. What I'm really discussing today is that I want them to look back at our time together here and see that it was good. I think it is. It's the best I can give them, no matter what else happens.
The time is going to come when I will pass on. I may go suddenly, or I may linger for a few years, like my friend's father. I think we all hope to pass on quickly; the suddeness of it can be harsh, but I'm sure I prefer that to watching and waiting. My mother died of cancer, and it wasn't nice to witness. I'm sure while she was ill she thought of her mortality every single day. The not knowing part is what is so tough for me. So, when I have to go I hope I drop of a sudden heart attack or something like that. Quick, to the point, and then done and over. I would like my family to get over my death and get back to the business of living as soon as possible. They have their own lives to live and don't need the life interruption that a parent who is in a long slow decline can provide. It's just really spiritually draining for the family to witness, if they are a close-knit family and really care.
Which is what I hope I have created here with my time on Earth, I hope that my family is really close-knit. I have always thought that the measure of how much I am loved is how I am mourned when I die. And I won't know that, will I? I hope that after I am gone that whenever my children speak of me they do so with much love and affection in their hearts and phrases. If I'm doing everything right on Earth then immediately after I'm gone they will have a hard time speaking about me, but as time goes on the good stories and affection that we shared will come through. I hope that it is conveyed to my grandchildren and to their friends.
I want to be missed, and I want to be mourned. It is kind of a novel idea for me- as I never mourned my father or my stepfather. Which is sad. It says to me that we didn't have a good relationship during our time here on Earth, and that is just a really hard thing to realize. They didn't take the opportunity to really know me, and I'm realizing that I am kind of a good person to know. It is their loss, and I do feel sorry for them and what we could have had.
I came to this theory after my mother passed away. I didn't realize that mourning would be something that I would do, I just never thought about it. But I honestly do mourn her. I miss my mother every single day. So, that tells me that even though we did have our problems and issues we really did love each other. And so, I do speak well of her. You have read here how I have had to integrate her life lessons into my life in a meaningful way. It can be hard at times, but it is worth the personal discovery when you do find out what someone's impact has had on you. And my mother's impact was a positive one.
So, I will continue to mourn my mother. I will miss her and speak well of her. It is what is due her now that she is in Heaven. And yes, I do believe she is there. Intent is at the heart of our Christian beliefs, and her intent was pure. So, she is with God. I'm sure of this.
As for my friend's father: I didn't know him that well, so I'm not sure how he is going to be remembered by his family. I only hope that his children and grandchildren will mourn his passing. I hope they will pause to remember the good times that they shared with him, and they will try to learn positive lessons from knowing him. I hope that they will think of him often and pray for his soul to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I've found that it isn't sad to mourn someone when they die. It is really a good and positive thing. So, Mr. Hunt may you rest in peace.
That isn't the main part of this. We all lose family members, it is to be expected. The only thing I really fear on this Earth is having my children die before I do. I'm not sure I could cope with it, and don't want to have to experience life without either one of them. Doing something drastic in reaction to a child's death isn't fair to the one left behind, so I would HAVE to live without one of them. It's just a hard situation that no one ever wants to face.
I tend to go through my life just like most folks- I take for granted the day to day interactions with my children. I love them to the best of my abilities, and hope that it is what they need. What I'm really discussing today is that I want them to look back at our time together here and see that it was good. I think it is. It's the best I can give them, no matter what else happens.
The time is going to come when I will pass on. I may go suddenly, or I may linger for a few years, like my friend's father. I think we all hope to pass on quickly; the suddeness of it can be harsh, but I'm sure I prefer that to watching and waiting. My mother died of cancer, and it wasn't nice to witness. I'm sure while she was ill she thought of her mortality every single day. The not knowing part is what is so tough for me. So, when I have to go I hope I drop of a sudden heart attack or something like that. Quick, to the point, and then done and over. I would like my family to get over my death and get back to the business of living as soon as possible. They have their own lives to live and don't need the life interruption that a parent who is in a long slow decline can provide. It's just really spiritually draining for the family to witness, if they are a close-knit family and really care.
Which is what I hope I have created here with my time on Earth, I hope that my family is really close-knit. I have always thought that the measure of how much I am loved is how I am mourned when I die. And I won't know that, will I? I hope that after I am gone that whenever my children speak of me they do so with much love and affection in their hearts and phrases. If I'm doing everything right on Earth then immediately after I'm gone they will have a hard time speaking about me, but as time goes on the good stories and affection that we shared will come through. I hope that it is conveyed to my grandchildren and to their friends.
I want to be missed, and I want to be mourned. It is kind of a novel idea for me- as I never mourned my father or my stepfather. Which is sad. It says to me that we didn't have a good relationship during our time here on Earth, and that is just a really hard thing to realize. They didn't take the opportunity to really know me, and I'm realizing that I am kind of a good person to know. It is their loss, and I do feel sorry for them and what we could have had.
I came to this theory after my mother passed away. I didn't realize that mourning would be something that I would do, I just never thought about it. But I honestly do mourn her. I miss my mother every single day. So, that tells me that even though we did have our problems and issues we really did love each other. And so, I do speak well of her. You have read here how I have had to integrate her life lessons into my life in a meaningful way. It can be hard at times, but it is worth the personal discovery when you do find out what someone's impact has had on you. And my mother's impact was a positive one.
So, I will continue to mourn my mother. I will miss her and speak well of her. It is what is due her now that she is in Heaven. And yes, I do believe she is there. Intent is at the heart of our Christian beliefs, and her intent was pure. So, she is with God. I'm sure of this.
As for my friend's father: I didn't know him that well, so I'm not sure how he is going to be remembered by his family. I only hope that his children and grandchildren will mourn his passing. I hope they will pause to remember the good times that they shared with him, and they will try to learn positive lessons from knowing him. I hope that they will think of him often and pray for his soul to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I've found that it isn't sad to mourn someone when they die. It is really a good and positive thing. So, Mr. Hunt may you rest in peace.
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