STRESS
There are a lot of definitions for the word stress. It all depends on how you want to use it; you can use the word in phonics (to put the stress on a particular syllable of a word), or you could use it to define the mechanics of a thing (the ratio of force to an area). But most of us relate to the word 'stress' as it applies to our physical being- the specific response that our body has to an unpleasant event, or series of events, in our life.
I will use the latter definition for now.
Some of the symptoms I have experienced lately, and will continue to experience (I suppose) are: Grinding of teeth, anxiety, restlessness, sadness, anger, crying spells, relation conflict. That is a lot to have to put up with. But it's nothing unusual for me. Especially when I have to deal with the fact that my husband is leaving the country for a while.
Yep, he is going to Iraq. And within the next 10 days. That is the bad news, the good news is that he will only be gone for about two weeks. I found this out for certain this morning. If that doesn't produce some of the aforementioned symptoms of stress in a person, then I don't know what will.
But, the worst part of all of this is that I really can't show him how I'm dealing with this situation. Nope. That wouldn't be very 'military' of me. My husband and I spent 20 years in the Army; he as the active duty member, and me as his loving and supportive wife. I was the one who reassured him that everything would be fine in his absence, then waved goodbye with a sallow smile on my lips. And I did this countless times over the years, he was gone a hell of a lot then. He certainly paid his dues, or so I thought.
He doesn't feel that way, about the 'paying dues' part that is. He feels that if there are 20 year old men and women serving overseas, in harms way, then he should do everything he can to help them out. And that must include going over to Iraq to make sure the programs that he works on are being utilized the best way possible. Keep our troops functioning and safe. OK, I guess I can't argue with that reasoning. If I did then I would be a true selfish putz.
I'm sure that in the coming month I will be revisiting this topic frequently. There is a lot of stress coming my way. I know that he is going to be safe, and he'll be back home before I have gotten used to him being gone.
Stress- it's the word of the day.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Apathy, Lethargy, and Indifference
This is a bit different from my usual entries here. Unlike a lot of Americans these days the upcoming presidential election is weighing kind of heavy on me.
Ever since the debacle of 2000 I have been paying a bit more attention to what goes on in politics. Not that it really matters in the long run, it's just that in 2000 the American people got caught with their pants down around their ankles, and the country hasn't been the same since. Lots of people fell into the catagory of "Me Vote? Why? What Good Would It Do?" They were 'too busy' to pay even the smallest attention to who was running, and what their platforms were about. So, George Bush was voted in. 'Nuff said...
I like to think that if Al Gore had been elected, even just for one term, we wouldn't be the laughing stock of the world. Thank you, W. Thank you, 43. Thank you, El Presidente. Thanks for nothing. You should have quit while you were ahead, standing on the smoking ruins of the World Trade Center consoling a stunned nation. But no, you had to push your still unfathomable, secret agenda on a still grieving nation and we bought it- hook, line, and sinker.
Yep, we were done with 'killing Commies for Christ' in the 1980s, so now we were on to some new adventure. Some new way to flex our American muscle on an unsuspecting world. Some new way for some movers and shakers behind the scenes to make some enormously sweet moola, which is what I think the entire fiasco in Iraq is ultimately about. There were no WMDs there, nothing but some delusional two bit hustler by the name of Saddam Hussein who was wreaking havoc on his poor countrymen. Not really our business. Nope. But you, Dear George, made it ours, which I had a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about. I cringe whenever I think about Colin Powell testifying before Congress about how we had to invade Iraq. He was made to look the fool, along with the rest of his countrymen. No wonder why he resigned and left the Bush administration, his humiliation was deep.
These days the administration tries to palm off the excuse that Al-Quaida was there in Iraq back then, and we had to go get 'em. Not true. At the time that was never given as the reason why we were invading Iraq. Never. Not until recently. What a bunch of hooey. Don't get me wrong- I was all for our precious military going into Afghanistan to find the sick bastards that that sent all those innocent Americans to their deaths on September 11, 2001. I thought it was an easy decision, and I still think it was the right thing to do. The American Military did a good job there, and they aren't finished. But they are close. It's the rest of it that I don't get- but at least now we ALL know that Baghdad isn't just a place from The Arabian Nights, don't we?
Why do I bring all this obscenity up? (And yes, it IS obscene. The way the power of the Presidency has been misused by George W. Bush and Co. is nothing short of obscene.) Because it all comes down to being very much our fault; the American people's fault. We were consumed with apathy, lethargy, and indifference about what goes on in our very own country. Our beautiful, rich, blessed, amazing country that our forefathers gave their lives to form, preserve, and protect. Shame on all of us for ignoring this gift that we live with so very easily day after day.
So, now I ask you that as we start to watch the election process begin, yet again, to make sure that you PAY ATTENTION to what is being said by both candidates that are running for the office of the Presidency of the United States of America. Pay attention people!!!! It's just kinda important, doncha think? If you haven't registered to vote yet- then trot your behinds down to voter registration and do so. Then on election day, November 4, 2008 to be exact, VOTE. It is painless, and it doesn't take very long to exercise your right to have your voice heard. There are many people on the face of this earth that do not have the gift of having their voices heard this way. Many people have died to make this privilege available to us. So, don't let their efforts die in vain. It's the least that we can do.
Ever since the debacle of 2000 I have been paying a bit more attention to what goes on in politics. Not that it really matters in the long run, it's just that in 2000 the American people got caught with their pants down around their ankles, and the country hasn't been the same since. Lots of people fell into the catagory of "Me Vote? Why? What Good Would It Do?" They were 'too busy' to pay even the smallest attention to who was running, and what their platforms were about. So, George Bush was voted in. 'Nuff said...
I like to think that if Al Gore had been elected, even just for one term, we wouldn't be the laughing stock of the world. Thank you, W. Thank you, 43. Thank you, El Presidente. Thanks for nothing. You should have quit while you were ahead, standing on the smoking ruins of the World Trade Center consoling a stunned nation. But no, you had to push your still unfathomable, secret agenda on a still grieving nation and we bought it- hook, line, and sinker.
Yep, we were done with 'killing Commies for Christ' in the 1980s, so now we were on to some new adventure. Some new way to flex our American muscle on an unsuspecting world. Some new way for some movers and shakers behind the scenes to make some enormously sweet moola, which is what I think the entire fiasco in Iraq is ultimately about. There were no WMDs there, nothing but some delusional two bit hustler by the name of Saddam Hussein who was wreaking havoc on his poor countrymen. Not really our business. Nope. But you, Dear George, made it ours, which I had a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about. I cringe whenever I think about Colin Powell testifying before Congress about how we had to invade Iraq. He was made to look the fool, along with the rest of his countrymen. No wonder why he resigned and left the Bush administration, his humiliation was deep.
These days the administration tries to palm off the excuse that Al-Quaida was there in Iraq back then, and we had to go get 'em. Not true. At the time that was never given as the reason why we were invading Iraq. Never. Not until recently. What a bunch of hooey. Don't get me wrong- I was all for our precious military going into Afghanistan to find the sick bastards that that sent all those innocent Americans to their deaths on September 11, 2001. I thought it was an easy decision, and I still think it was the right thing to do. The American Military did a good job there, and they aren't finished. But they are close. It's the rest of it that I don't get- but at least now we ALL know that Baghdad isn't just a place from The Arabian Nights, don't we?
Why do I bring all this obscenity up? (And yes, it IS obscene. The way the power of the Presidency has been misused by George W. Bush and Co. is nothing short of obscene.) Because it all comes down to being very much our fault; the American people's fault. We were consumed with apathy, lethargy, and indifference about what goes on in our very own country. Our beautiful, rich, blessed, amazing country that our forefathers gave their lives to form, preserve, and protect. Shame on all of us for ignoring this gift that we live with so very easily day after day.
So, now I ask you that as we start to watch the election process begin, yet again, to make sure that you PAY ATTENTION to what is being said by both candidates that are running for the office of the Presidency of the United States of America. Pay attention people!!!! It's just kinda important, doncha think? If you haven't registered to vote yet- then trot your behinds down to voter registration and do so. Then on election day, November 4, 2008 to be exact, VOTE. It is painless, and it doesn't take very long to exercise your right to have your voice heard. There are many people on the face of this earth that do not have the gift of having their voices heard this way. Many people have died to make this privilege available to us. So, don't let their efforts die in vain. It's the least that we can do.
Friday, August 22, 2008
The Seven Deadly Sins...
One of the seven deadly sins, greed, has reared it's ugly head in my life. Not that I have fallen prey to it, well not lately at least. A person that I know has been caught red handed, as it were, and now has the world's judgement upon her head. Not a great position to be in. It is certainly her own doing, but I still feel sorry for her.
If you are of the puritanical bent then this feeling is not new to you. As kids we are instilled with 'sharing'; our papers, pencils, sandwiches. We are taught that greed is not something that we should ever be comfortable dealing with. We are taught to run away from it at all costs, which we TRY to do when we are little. As we get older we start to rationalize many things in our daily lives as a way to cope with what we live with and do, and greed is just one of those things that kind of creeps up on us. We go from an extra cookie before dinner to the entire cookie jar's contents when we think no one is looking. And this is just what happened to my acquaintence. I'm not sure where the idea came to just 'skim a bit off the top' one month from the proceeds that she was accountable for. It was mostly cash contributions, after all. Who could really tell how much was taken in, nevermind how much was being stolen? The temptation was there staring her in the face. And she gave in.
So, instead of just taking 'one cookie' before dinner she was well on her way to emptying the entire jar. The only thing is that what she has done couldn't be ignored as easily as she thought. She figured that she had it down pat and no one was really paying attention to what she was doing. But, when you make lots of cookies and find that the cookie jar is continually empty you start to look at who has access to it to find out why it's empty. Sooner or later you hope to catch the individual responsible.
My acquaintence will tell you that she has a great excuse for why she stole the money that she did. She 'couldn't help herself', or some such thing. And yes, she was weak willed. She is facing her own demons; bad health, an unhappy marriage, addiction to luxury brands. Lots of reasons 'why', but the word 'morality' never enters into the discussion, which is too bad.
In our present society 'morality' is a word that is seldom used. Which is a shame, as it's an excellent word to keep in your heart at all times. We need a bit more 'morality' in our everyday lives, it seems. But should it be up to society to continually teach us what morality means? Or is it something that we should learn when we are young and then integrate into our selves and follow every day, just like sharing. Maybe in times past morality was discussed more frequently than it is today so people don't think it's very important, but it is still there trying to guide us, if we will simply listen to what we know to be right. Just because we don't talk about morality much doesn't give anyone the excuse to indulge in any of the seven deadly sins. No matter how full the cookie jar may be.
If you are of the puritanical bent then this feeling is not new to you. As kids we are instilled with 'sharing'; our papers, pencils, sandwiches. We are taught that greed is not something that we should ever be comfortable dealing with. We are taught to run away from it at all costs, which we TRY to do when we are little. As we get older we start to rationalize many things in our daily lives as a way to cope with what we live with and do, and greed is just one of those things that kind of creeps up on us. We go from an extra cookie before dinner to the entire cookie jar's contents when we think no one is looking. And this is just what happened to my acquaintence. I'm not sure where the idea came to just 'skim a bit off the top' one month from the proceeds that she was accountable for. It was mostly cash contributions, after all. Who could really tell how much was taken in, nevermind how much was being stolen? The temptation was there staring her in the face. And she gave in.
So, instead of just taking 'one cookie' before dinner she was well on her way to emptying the entire jar. The only thing is that what she has done couldn't be ignored as easily as she thought. She figured that she had it down pat and no one was really paying attention to what she was doing. But, when you make lots of cookies and find that the cookie jar is continually empty you start to look at who has access to it to find out why it's empty. Sooner or later you hope to catch the individual responsible.
My acquaintence will tell you that she has a great excuse for why she stole the money that she did. She 'couldn't help herself', or some such thing. And yes, she was weak willed. She is facing her own demons; bad health, an unhappy marriage, addiction to luxury brands. Lots of reasons 'why', but the word 'morality' never enters into the discussion, which is too bad.
In our present society 'morality' is a word that is seldom used. Which is a shame, as it's an excellent word to keep in your heart at all times. We need a bit more 'morality' in our everyday lives, it seems. But should it be up to society to continually teach us what morality means? Or is it something that we should learn when we are young and then integrate into our selves and follow every day, just like sharing. Maybe in times past morality was discussed more frequently than it is today so people don't think it's very important, but it is still there trying to guide us, if we will simply listen to what we know to be right. Just because we don't talk about morality much doesn't give anyone the excuse to indulge in any of the seven deadly sins. No matter how full the cookie jar may be.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Procrastination is NOT my friend...
I wanted to say something about this before, but figured I'd get around to it later. Yeah, it's an old joke, but if you suffer from this very real problem, it's not really much of a joke.
There are people in the world who grab ideas/challenges/issues by the throat and simply deal with them, then there are people like me. I like to think that I'm 'deliberate' or I'm just simply taking my time in deciding HOW I'm going to deal with an issue. Sometimes(I hope) by the time I get around to dealing with it the time has come and gone and my attention is no longer needed. I positively HATE busy work, and I feel that 75% of what I am 'supposed' to deal with is just that- busy work that has been created to fill the void of the yawning hours that loom before me. Created by someone other than myself who really doesn't want to see me idle. That is how I justify what I do.
Now, how to deal with what is left over? That is another question unto itself. I have found that when I ignore something one of two things happens: It goes away, or I am left to deal with the consequences of my inaction. I am all for the 'going away' part, and lots of time whatever I'm trying to ignore proves to be something that (apparently) wasn't important to begin with. Good. At this point in my life I've decided that I certainly will take responsibility for the results of my inaction, it's the adult thing to do. But so far the consequences have been slight. (Okay, once I had to go down to the city treasurer's office to pay my water bill so the water could be turned on again. I swear I had paid it, but I guess I got busy with something else. Oh well...) But over the years I've tried to make sure that the really important things get taken care of. You know- other bills, laundry left outside too long, returning annoying phone messages. I'm not trying to give the impression that I don't care, because I DO. But it really needs to be about something important, not just the fluff of everyday living. My time is really limited, I don't want to spend it doing mindless tasks. Sorry, but that is the way I feel.
So, next time you see someone who you think is a Procrastinator Extraordinaire, just try to remember what I've said. We aren't trying to ignore you, and we certainly don't think what you are asking isn't of any importance. It's just that people like me are trying to assess if it falls into the 75% or not. If it does then, well... I'll get back to you.
There are people in the world who grab ideas/challenges/issues by the throat and simply deal with them, then there are people like me. I like to think that I'm 'deliberate' or I'm just simply taking my time in deciding HOW I'm going to deal with an issue. Sometimes(I hope) by the time I get around to dealing with it the time has come and gone and my attention is no longer needed. I positively HATE busy work, and I feel that 75% of what I am 'supposed' to deal with is just that- busy work that has been created to fill the void of the yawning hours that loom before me. Created by someone other than myself who really doesn't want to see me idle. That is how I justify what I do.
Now, how to deal with what is left over? That is another question unto itself. I have found that when I ignore something one of two things happens: It goes away, or I am left to deal with the consequences of my inaction. I am all for the 'going away' part, and lots of time whatever I'm trying to ignore proves to be something that (apparently) wasn't important to begin with. Good. At this point in my life I've decided that I certainly will take responsibility for the results of my inaction, it's the adult thing to do. But so far the consequences have been slight. (Okay, once I had to go down to the city treasurer's office to pay my water bill so the water could be turned on again. I swear I had paid it, but I guess I got busy with something else. Oh well...) But over the years I've tried to make sure that the really important things get taken care of. You know- other bills, laundry left outside too long, returning annoying phone messages. I'm not trying to give the impression that I don't care, because I DO. But it really needs to be about something important, not just the fluff of everyday living. My time is really limited, I don't want to spend it doing mindless tasks. Sorry, but that is the way I feel.
So, next time you see someone who you think is a Procrastinator Extraordinaire, just try to remember what I've said. We aren't trying to ignore you, and we certainly don't think what you are asking isn't of any importance. It's just that people like me are trying to assess if it falls into the 75% or not. If it does then, well... I'll get back to you.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
"Another Saturday Night..."
Which is the title of a Cat Stevens song, but it is also where I am this evening. Yep, another boring Saturday night. What is with this particular time of the week? We all work like crazy to get here, and then when we are here it just kind of slinks by. Especially as we get older.
When I was young I lived at the beach. I think back now and it was pretty idyllic. I was responsible for me, and only me. The only bill I had was my rent every payday. I didn't pay utilities, and I didn't own a car. I hardly ate much, either. By the time I was 18 I was completely on my own, and that is how I ended up living by the ocean. I grew up 'Out West', but once I got to the East Coast that was it- I have loved being here ever since.
Anyway, I lived in a tiny little seaside resort town in southern Maine, my boarding house was two blocks away from the beach, and during the summers I had every other night off. So that meant going home after work, getting cleaned up, then heading back down to the oceanfront, and my friends. Sometimes my boyfriend had the night off, sometimes not. My friends and I would just wander around town, stopping in at my families' restaurant (where we all had summer jobs) to see our other friends that were working (and my boyfriend), going over to the arcade for pinball or skee ball, or sometimes going to the movies. It seemed like every Saturday night the waitresses at the restaurant would be having a party so if we were working we headed over there after work, or if I had the night off I would be there by 8pm. It was something to look forward to. A great way to spend my Saturday nights.
Then by the time I got to college I was well versed in the Saturday night ritual of partying. Especially at my university, the University of Maine- our school song was 'The Maine Stein Song'. No joke, how could we NOT party? The cool thing about being at university is that the weekend really starts on Thursday evening- if you don't have an exam on Friday. So by the time 'Saturday Night Live' came on at 11:30 pm we all had our fill of the party life and were ready for a quiet Sunday. But we did utilize our Saturday nights to their fullest. Ahhh, what an education!
I think after graduation Saturday nights went downhill steadily. We all grew up and got real lives- lives that involved structure and responsibility. Sure, we all tried to keep Saturday nights open so we could get to know our new friends at our new jobs better, but they all started to do stuff like get married and have families. That pretty much quashed Saturday nights for them. And then for folks like me. Heck, I even married my boyfriend I met in Maine, and we ended up just kind of 'vegging' in front of the TV on most Saturday nights. We didn't want to spend our money going out, we 'had plans' for a future. And here we are, living in our 'future', but it doesn't include going out.
We are home on Saturday nights, still. Well, maybe before too long we can get back into the groove- start going out again. Will it be like it was before? I don't think so. Saturday nights now won't ever be like they were when I was 18. They might be OK, but they will never live up to the ones I had then. At my age I don't think I could stand it.
When I was young I lived at the beach. I think back now and it was pretty idyllic. I was responsible for me, and only me. The only bill I had was my rent every payday. I didn't pay utilities, and I didn't own a car. I hardly ate much, either. By the time I was 18 I was completely on my own, and that is how I ended up living by the ocean. I grew up 'Out West', but once I got to the East Coast that was it- I have loved being here ever since.
Anyway, I lived in a tiny little seaside resort town in southern Maine, my boarding house was two blocks away from the beach, and during the summers I had every other night off. So that meant going home after work, getting cleaned up, then heading back down to the oceanfront, and my friends. Sometimes my boyfriend had the night off, sometimes not. My friends and I would just wander around town, stopping in at my families' restaurant (where we all had summer jobs) to see our other friends that were working (and my boyfriend), going over to the arcade for pinball or skee ball, or sometimes going to the movies. It seemed like every Saturday night the waitresses at the restaurant would be having a party so if we were working we headed over there after work, or if I had the night off I would be there by 8pm. It was something to look forward to. A great way to spend my Saturday nights.
Then by the time I got to college I was well versed in the Saturday night ritual of partying. Especially at my university, the University of Maine- our school song was 'The Maine Stein Song'. No joke, how could we NOT party? The cool thing about being at university is that the weekend really starts on Thursday evening- if you don't have an exam on Friday. So by the time 'Saturday Night Live' came on at 11:30 pm we all had our fill of the party life and were ready for a quiet Sunday. But we did utilize our Saturday nights to their fullest. Ahhh, what an education!
I think after graduation Saturday nights went downhill steadily. We all grew up and got real lives- lives that involved structure and responsibility. Sure, we all tried to keep Saturday nights open so we could get to know our new friends at our new jobs better, but they all started to do stuff like get married and have families. That pretty much quashed Saturday nights for them. And then for folks like me. Heck, I even married my boyfriend I met in Maine, and we ended up just kind of 'vegging' in front of the TV on most Saturday nights. We didn't want to spend our money going out, we 'had plans' for a future. And here we are, living in our 'future', but it doesn't include going out.
We are home on Saturday nights, still. Well, maybe before too long we can get back into the groove- start going out again. Will it be like it was before? I don't think so. Saturday nights now won't ever be like they were when I was 18. They might be OK, but they will never live up to the ones I had then. At my age I don't think I could stand it.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Friends...
"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends."
-Japanese proverb
And that certainly holds true today. A few years ago I would have thought that I was 'characterless', if there is such a word. See, I have moved so much in my lifetime that I have had many, many friends over the course of the years, but not very many have remained so. I seem to have lived what I felt was a random life; not a lot of grounding. I have never had much problem making friends, it's just that I never had the hearts' desire to maintain relationships with them. I have lived so many places and for such short periods of time that I knew that sooner or later I would have to sever those ties that bind, and I got used to it and grew to accept it as part of my life.
The first major test of this was as a kid- heck, I didn't even have much of a solid relationship with my own father. Yes, my parents divorced when I was young. So, for me it was always natural that I didn't have that strong bond with my own father. Easy come, easy go. My mom and step dad moved us around a lot, so I didn't have that 'looking forward to the next year in school' kind of anticipation at seeing my friends again. More often than not I knew I wouldn't ever see them again. You learn to adapt, and you learn not to get too emotionally involved. But, along with learning to move on you do move on... I tried to get excited about living across the street from Disneyland (no joke- when I was about 13 we lived in a hotel across the street from my beloved Disneyland for almost a month. It was great- we saw the fireworks every night...) And I could also drum up some enthusiasm for moving back to Arizona and close to my stepbrother and stepsister, whom I adore to this day. So it wasn't all bad.
But I kinda digress... The 'lasting friend' department was pretty empty. Until now. Over the course of the past few years I have made some incredible friends, and I have decided to work hard to keep them in my life. This is kind of fun- I get phone calls telling me the everyday kinds of things that keep me 'in the loop' about my friends lives. I get funny/silly/ridiculous/sad emails that really ring true to me. Cards and gifts at Christmas, and, best of all, I get visits from these friends. I was stunned the first time one of them wanted to bring her entire family here to see me. ME? Yes, me. We had a blast.
The real reason I'm writing about this today is that one of my friends is going through a very dark time. Her child has been sick with cancer, and we all have been worried beyond belief about her prognosis. Right now things are looking up for her, and we are all grateful to God for sparing her precious young life.
But that's not the main thing here- the main thing is that my friend and her husband are finally getting to see what loving is all about. WE, as her friends, here in my home, and in her hometown, are able to give back some of the love and friendship to them that they have given without any hesitation to us. She seems stunned by all the community outpouring of love that is being shown. I'm not. I just appreciate the opportunity to be a (small) part of what is going on for her. I'm happy to have some 'friend' continuity in my life for a change. And, if my Japanese proverb is true, I'm really happy to be able to 'see' my character, because it really is stellar, just like my friends.
-Japanese proverb
And that certainly holds true today. A few years ago I would have thought that I was 'characterless', if there is such a word. See, I have moved so much in my lifetime that I have had many, many friends over the course of the years, but not very many have remained so. I seem to have lived what I felt was a random life; not a lot of grounding. I have never had much problem making friends, it's just that I never had the hearts' desire to maintain relationships with them. I have lived so many places and for such short periods of time that I knew that sooner or later I would have to sever those ties that bind, and I got used to it and grew to accept it as part of my life.
The first major test of this was as a kid- heck, I didn't even have much of a solid relationship with my own father. Yes, my parents divorced when I was young. So, for me it was always natural that I didn't have that strong bond with my own father. Easy come, easy go. My mom and step dad moved us around a lot, so I didn't have that 'looking forward to the next year in school' kind of anticipation at seeing my friends again. More often than not I knew I wouldn't ever see them again. You learn to adapt, and you learn not to get too emotionally involved. But, along with learning to move on you do move on... I tried to get excited about living across the street from Disneyland (no joke- when I was about 13 we lived in a hotel across the street from my beloved Disneyland for almost a month. It was great- we saw the fireworks every night...) And I could also drum up some enthusiasm for moving back to Arizona and close to my stepbrother and stepsister, whom I adore to this day. So it wasn't all bad.
But I kinda digress... The 'lasting friend' department was pretty empty. Until now. Over the course of the past few years I have made some incredible friends, and I have decided to work hard to keep them in my life. This is kind of fun- I get phone calls telling me the everyday kinds of things that keep me 'in the loop' about my friends lives. I get funny/silly/ridiculous/sad emails that really ring true to me. Cards and gifts at Christmas, and, best of all, I get visits from these friends. I was stunned the first time one of them wanted to bring her entire family here to see me. ME? Yes, me. We had a blast.
The real reason I'm writing about this today is that one of my friends is going through a very dark time. Her child has been sick with cancer, and we all have been worried beyond belief about her prognosis. Right now things are looking up for her, and we are all grateful to God for sparing her precious young life.
But that's not the main thing here- the main thing is that my friend and her husband are finally getting to see what loving is all about. WE, as her friends, here in my home, and in her hometown, are able to give back some of the love and friendship to them that they have given without any hesitation to us. She seems stunned by all the community outpouring of love that is being shown. I'm not. I just appreciate the opportunity to be a (small) part of what is going on for her. I'm happy to have some 'friend' continuity in my life for a change. And, if my Japanese proverb is true, I'm really happy to be able to 'see' my character, because it really is stellar, just like my friends.
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